She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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