is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're like the curious george of whores
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
