So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just googled if crying burns calories
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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