After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
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Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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