He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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