PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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