I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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