wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
