Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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