life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
