Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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