I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
