That's intense
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drunk is not a location!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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