If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize