The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
