the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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