We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i love accidental penises.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
