She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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