Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize