Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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