it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
