Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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