i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
