sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize