Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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