i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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