"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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