You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize