Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
