my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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