see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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