I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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