i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
