do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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