Plan B is the new Plan A
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
