I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
