coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
