he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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