The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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