she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
