Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
