didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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