white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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