Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize