Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
