So drunk its hurt
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
