i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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