ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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