ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
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thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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