Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
