I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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