i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
