Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
