No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
