How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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