They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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