Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
