I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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