The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
