sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
